I’m back to finish wrapping up my relationship series in the next couple of days.  Today, I’m going to hit hard on an issue that will upset many of you.  And that is the issue of looks and the conflict that can occur in relationships to do looks.  My opinion is that whoever said looks are not important was either blind or ugly.  That may tick you off, you’re probably thinking oh he’s so shallow or I can’t believe he said that.  Look, I’m sick and tired of the PC crap that goes on, and the statement that “looks aren’t important” is a piece of crap being fed to us by that crowd.  Here’s the deal, I know that a person should look for the core of a human and not what’s on the outside.  I also know reality which is that to some extent looks do matter and in some instances matter quite a bit. 

Hear me out for just a minute.  You need to find someone who is physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally attractive to you.  This does not necessarily have to be what society says is attractive.  I know people who think their spouse is the bomb in the looks department and I certainly don’t see it but I just have different tastes and preferences in that area. No big deal.  Just don’t tell me my wife is ugly or I’ll probably punch you in the face.

At the end of the day, I can’t really tell you specifically what to look for but here are some thoughts on the matter.  How a person dresses or doesn’t dress may tell you a lot about how they view themselves.  The same goes for a person’s weight. 

I’m not talking about someone being five or ten pounds overweight.  I’m talking about people who are 40, 80, 100 and 200 pounds or more overweight.  This may indicate a lack of self esteem and self control.  If there is a thyroid problem then it may indicate that they are not taking care of themselves because they should be taking medicine.  My concern are those people who are content with being an unhealthy weight.  By the way, this also includes those who are underweight. 

Remember a couple of things about weight and the way a person dresses.  Don’t ever expect them to change.  Most of us are naive before we get married and assume the person will change.  The problem is that many people will rarely change after marriage.  Therefore, if you don’t like their weight or the way they dress now, then you need to discuss it with them now.  Today.  Then you have to decided if it’s something you can live with or not.  That’s a recurring theme during this series.  The bottom line is this, can you love them and live with them as they are with no hope of them ever changing.  If the thought about how they look, dress, behave or treat you, in any way consistently nauseates you… well, you need to examine why and then make a decision. 

As always seek the help of a competent professional.  Any decisions you make are your own and should not be made because I said so.  You are responsible for you.