We’ve all heard this phrase or something like it at one point or another.  The basic gist of the statement is that we need to take care of business now or taking care of it later will take more time or money or energy.  How many of us have heard  or thought about this in the context of relationships?  The reality is that many of us don’t think about it in this context.  I’ve seen many people in long term relationships which put up with all kinds of crap in the relationship and seem stuck in the situation.  Why?  Why spend your life that way?  You only have one life to live and why spend is miserably.  Do something about it.  It’s easy to give up, to throw in the towel.  Don’t.
 
If you’re like me and want something to change so that your relationship can not just exist but thrive then counseling is something you should consider.  My wife and I have just begun going to counseling.  Frankly, after just two sessions I’m beginning to see that with some effort my wife and I can take a relationship that went from good to okay and make it great.  Now that’s worth getting fired up about.  That’s worth the effort and the work necessary to get there.  I absolutely want not a good relationship with my wife but a great one!!
 
This week’s session was the second and the best thus far.  Primarily because of the homework.  Yes, there’s homework.  Everything in life worth doing requires work so get over it and get going! :-)  This homework involves setting aside 20 minutes, several times per week to write, think and discuss a series of questions that help one to better understand their partner’s true feelings in a given area.  The most important thing about the exercise is to teach us a new communication style that will allow us to effectively communicate in a loving manner what the issue is, and then how to resolve it.  Right now we’re just learning how to communicate.  Later we will tackle how to negotiate win/win resolutions.
 
I have to tell you that I’m hooked after doing it one time.  I learned some deep feelings that my wife has in a given area that I never knew or understood.  I felt her pain.  I’m convinced that learning new communication methods will revolutionize our marriage and by extension our family.  I’m excited and pumped.  I know that I will hear things that I may not like or want to hear.  Here’s the deal, staying where we are at isn’t going to work.  I refuse to settle for the status quo in my marriage.  I would rather die and rot… So, I’m going to do what it takes.  Will it be easy?  No.  Will it be worth it?  Yes!
 
How does this tie into success?  For me it’s quite simply this:  I will consider myself a success at the end of my life IF my wife and children gladly stand beside me.  I will consider myself a complete and utter failure if I’m filthy rich and am divorced or have a wife I no longer know.  Remember success is not just about the money.  It’s also about the relationships.  There are some relationships that need to be thrown away.  However, there are more relationships that are worth the time, effort and money it will take to revitalize them.  I pray that your relationship is the latter.